Some Mentally oriented Jokes

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but clear plastic
wrap and the Psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see your nuts".

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital
had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out
of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's file and
called him into his office.
"Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate
that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you
saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. James replied.
"I hung him up to dry."

Thanks to Cathy aka PHOBIA
and this one to:

Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is
examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter
society.  "So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your
chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea
what you might do once you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school
for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money
there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my
experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here.
"People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I
thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've
grown interested in lately."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing
possibilities."  The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go
on being a teapot!"